Death eater's game night!
by Salad-flavored Sunflower
Summary: A funny story of love, insanity, and crazy drinking. The Dark Lord has called his servants in for a board game bonanza at malfoy manner!
1. Chapter 1

Death Eaters Game Night 

Chapter 1 - The Gathering

It was a clear full moon at Malfoy mansion that night. A very happy Lucius pranced up and down the empty hall, humming an upbeat tune.

"Tah-ha! Tah-ha!" he sang. "Only half an hour 'till the Dark Lord's special meeting! Then I can finally see him again! I have to play it cool, though. If he knows I'm interested, then I'll positively DIE of embarrassment!"

Just then, Lucius's ears perked up. _my peacock senses are tingling! Someones approaching the house_, he thought. "HOMAIGAWD HOMAIGAWD!!! WHADA I DO??!! I HAVE TO ACT NATURAL!!"

"NARCISSA, YOU OLD COW!!!! ANSWER THE DOOR FOR CHRISTSAKE!!" he screamed.

"DAMNIT ALL, LUCIUS!!! I'M ENTERTAINING PEDRO TONIGHT!!" she yelled back.

"WELL TONIGHT IS THE DARK LORD'S WEEKLY MEETING AND I WILL NOT BE MADE A FOOL OF JUST BECAUSE THE POOL BOY IS CLEANING OUT YOUR BAT CAVE!!!! GET YOUR PRIORITIES IN ORDER, WOMAN!!"

She slowly waltzed to open the door and smiled at her husband's grumbles of disgust. "Lucci! Yaxleys here!" she said in mocking sweetness. "Evening Lucci!" Yaxley said with a sneer. "I imagine you were waiting for your loverboy?" "No! that's ridiculous! I'm happily married, in case you forgot." Narcissa let out a loud snort as she strode back to the sitting room. "see?" Lucius continued. "Happily married."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." he replied, walking up the stairs. "I'll just head on up and made sure the imbragable wackjob hasn't gotten himself stoned. Again."

_That was TERRIBLE Lucius! Grow a backbone! The next time that doorbell rings, your going to be there to answer it and your going to show Severus how amazingly awesome you really are!! You can do it! Go Lucci! Go Lucci! Go Lucci!_

Just then, someone approached the door and began knocking. _Ho gawd! Ho gawd! I'm not ready for this! I've gotta relax. Just breathe, in and out, in and out._

He slowly made his way down the stairs and with a shaking hand reached for the door handle. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and swiftly pulled the door open.

"Well hello! Welcome! Come on in, you must be tired!" he exclaimed with the biggest smile he could muster.

"I'm a good bit tired, yea" Belatrix snorted "but why are you smiling like a bloody gay?"

Lucius staggered back and hid his face in his hands "Bloody hell, Belatrix. You smell like a muggle!"

"Well the Dark Lord demanded that I bring an empty wine bottle to the meeting. I can't imagine why though. I mean, wine bottles are a lot more interesting when they're full. More importantly, I didn't have any, so I had to go digging through the trash to find one."

"Charming" Lucius responded. _couldn't have bothered to shower first, could you_, he thought. "Yaxley is already here. They're in the room upstairs at the end of the hall"

"Evening, Lucius." a familiar voice said. Lucius quickly spun around to discover Severus Snape standing in his open doorway.

"Ah! Severus!" he gasped. "When did you get here?" "During your conversation about muggle trash with Belatrix and I must say, she smelt something foul!" he said with a smile.

"Ummm, well, the wackjob upstairs demanded for her to bring a wine bottle. Its positively mad, if you ask me."

"Its only a matter of time before he gets put in the crazy house. Oh! That reminds me." Severus said, reaching into his cloak and pulling out what looked like a bottle of swamp water. "A present for you! It does wonders for the skin!"

"Oh, Severus! How did you know?!" Lucius squealed. "Its just what I needed!" "that's not true. You have positively wonderful skin. I just thought it would make you shine even more"

_Wha! I can't believe it! Its almost too good to be true! But I still have to play it cool. If he thinks I like it that much, then he'll probably think I'm an obsessive git!_

"So Captain Crazy is upstairs?" Severus asked.

"Yes. Being entertained by Belatrix and Yaxley."

"I imagine this is going to be a long night."

_I hope so._ Lucius thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Helloooo all! This is Paru releasing the second episode! Personaly, I was shocked when I went on my email and saw that we had been favorited. Thank you all so much! This is the only other episode I've writen, but now that I know people are reading, I'll definently get started on the others. Enjoy!

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Chapter 2 - The Great Grey Git

Lucius and Severus walked down the empty moonlit halls. They could hear grunts and high pitched laughs coming from the end of the hall. Lucius slowly walked behind him, trying to keep a level distance from his behind.

_Oh dear lord, that ass!, _he thought. _It looks fabulous in black! I wonder what kind of cloth it is? Would it be rude to ask? Well I should say something to break the silence._

"Sooo……." Lucius began, but was cut off. "Narcissa and Draco distracted for the night?" Severus asked. "Yes, they are. Narcissa has her little German pool toy in for the night and Draco has one of his friends over. He didn't say who though."

They slowly approached the door at the end of the hallway where Voldemort's laughter and high-pitched giggles could be herd. "here goes." Lucius said, opening the door. The room on the other side was empty except for one large chair. There were no lights on, but the room was fully lit by the light of the moon pouring in from the wall-sized windows. The Dark Lord sat in the large chair, holding a hairbrush and waving it around in a wand-like fashion.

"Come now, Belatrix! Please let me do something with your hair! I promise I'll be gentle!"

"After the last time I let you braid it? No way!"

"I'll admit that I was a little tipsy then, but I've been 3 weeks sober! Theres no way I could mess it up!"

"Ahem!" Severus interrupted.

"Ah! Lucius! Severus! Come sit! This is going to be so freakin' fun you won't be able to contain yourselves" Voldie cackled

_Just great, _he thought. _either we have to listen to one of his foolish scheme or its another lingerie night. _"You said something about being sober, My Lord?" he said in attempt to change the subject.

"Yes, my dear Servy! As of last night I am three weeks sober" Voldie said, waving his hairbrush around triumphantly. Severus threw a confused look at Yaxley, who shrugged and rolled his eyes.

"Congratulations, My Lord" Lucius chimed in.

"Thank you all. Now I believe its time to start our activities. Belatrix, did you bring the bottle?"

"Yes, My Lord. The bottle is right here" she said, reaching around to grab it. As she handed the bottle to Voldie, he flourished his hairbrush. The bottle shook and shattered right in her hand.

"Bloody hell!" Belatrix screeched, scooting back. "What was that about?!"

"Oh dear! Terribly sorry, Bella!" Voldie said in monotone. "Looks like we'll need a new bottle!" He reached into his cloak and pulled out a cheap looking bottle of vodka, downing the whole thing in less than a minute.

_So much for sobriety, _Lucius thought.

_So much for a relatively quiet evening, _Snape thought.

_Awww! I wanted some! _Yaxley thought

_Oh bloody hell! Hes gunna light my hair on fire again!, _Belatrix thought

"Aaaaaahhhhh!" he finally gasped, slamming the bottle in front of himself. "So now that Lord Voldie is slightly tipsy, we can play". "P-play what, My Lord?" Yaxley asked nervously.

"Why it's the first ever DEATH EATER GAME NIGHT!!! YAAAAY YAAAAY YAAAY!!!!"

Yaxley turned his head in disbelief, Belatrix slid further away from the crazy drunk, and Severus let out a tiny squeak.

"Game night, My Lord?!" Luccius finally said. "that's what we're all here for?"

"Mahahaha! Yes, Lucci! Your all my little love slaves and I think its best that I get to know all of you! And what better way to learn than by playing a series of challenging games!"

"This is ridiculous." Yaxley murmured under his breath.

"I freakin' herd that, Yaxley!" yelled the drunk. "Just for that, you have to get me my freakin' wine stock! As well as my freakin' gin and my freakin' tequila! And get some freakin' pretzels and my favorite freakin' cookies!"

"as you freakin' wish, My Lord." Yaxley growled.

"Jesus Christ, Bella! How many boob jobs does one witch need?" Voldie yelled.

"Six" Belatrix whispered, turning away slowly. While the crazy drunk was distracted, Snape and Lucius stood up and walked to the other side of the room.

"Well this is an annoying turn of events" Lucius said, trying not to look Snape in the eyes.

"I expected something like this to happen, considering his last few meetings"

"Did we ever find out where he got that pot?"

"Yea. We busted some muggle for it and Avadaed his ass to pieces."

Severus turned and looked Lucius straight in the eye, grabbed his hand, and said quietly, "We need to work together, no matter what the crazy drunk throws at us."

_Homaigawd!!, _Lucius thought, _Hes so dreamy! I-Is he blushing?! That is SO cute!_

"Ahem! Your right! Your completely right!" He stammered.

"Good. I'm glad we got that cleared up." Snape said, with a sigh of relief. "We should go make sure Belatrix still has both breasts."

"Umm, you can let go of my hand now!" Lucius giggled.

"Oh, yes! I'm sorry!" Snape said, jerking his hand back. They both slowly returned to the middle of the room, trying to avoid the other's gaze. But one thing was for sure. Neither Snape or Lucius had ever been that red in their entire lives.


End file.
